"It's all about the friends we make along the way." I will admit that this quote is a little corny, but it is also true. As exciting as awards and achievements can be, nothing quite compares to the experiences we share with our friends. In fact, I would argue that many people stay in speech and debate for friendships more than anything else, which makes building those relationships an essential part of the activity.

Consider what a typical tournament looks like. A competitor might spend forty-five minutes in a round, followed by what feels like an endless stretch of waiting. They wait for postings, for their next round, for breaks to be released on Tabroom, and for an awards ceremony that almost always starts late. Most of the day is downtime, and the people you spend that downtime with largely determine whether the weekend feels like a tedious obligation or an enjoyable experience.

Staying with your own team is easier than branching out, whether because of proximity or simply because it is more comfortable to talk to people you already know. The problem is that this habit makes meeting others harder over time. The longer you stay within that bubble, the more unfamiliar everyone outside of it begins to feel. For example, you develop inside jokes and shared context with your teammates, and conversations with strangers start to feel slower and more awkward by comparison. What began as a matter of convenience turns into a real skill gap, because talking to new people is a skill that weakens without practice. As a result, competitors miss out on many new experiences, including much of the fun the activity has to offer. This is why it is worth making a deliberate effort to meet new people.

Conversations generally come more easily when two people share some kind of connection or common ground. That shared starting point allows a conversation to develop naturally rather than feeling forced. Fortunately, speech and debate automatically provides common ground. Everyone at a tournament has just been through the same experience, and discussing what went well or poorly is an easy way to begin a conversation. Questions such as "How did your round go?" or "What do you think of the resolution?" work with almost anyone.

There is also very little risk in talking to someone new. In the worst case, the conversation is a bit awkward and you both move on. In the best case, you gain a new friend to spend time with at future tournaments. That trade-off is heavily in your favor, since one meaningful conversation is worth far more than the discomfort of a few awkward ones.

So what can competitors actually do?

The best approach is to start small. Focus on getting to know one new person at a time, and then make an effort to follow up, because a conversation only becomes a friendship if it continues after the tournament ends. If you connect well with someone, it is worth exchanging social media or another casual way of staying in touch. Online spaces have also made this far easier than it used to be. Communities like Equality in Forensics offer spaces where it is easy to meet people from across the country. I can say from personal experience that meeting people through online platforms is very effective. Some of my favorite memories come from community events, including the Great Debate–an unserious debate between some friends–and a surprisingly thoughtful round of Jackbox that ended up touching on serious topics across several areas. Activities like these may seem trivial, but are often where lasting connections begin. You certainly do not need to participate in something like a satirical debate, but meeting people and then spending time with them in a relaxed setting is well worth the effort. Reaching out online is also relatively low-stakes, since if a conversation does not go anywhere, you can simply move on without any pressure.

Speech and debate camps offer another valuable opportunity. Students primarily attend camps to learn, but they are also an ideal setting for meeting people from other programs. Without a deliberate effort to stay in contact, you may never see many of these people again. Taking the initiative to introduce yourself is often all it takes to form a new friendship, and it helps to remember that most people are just as nervous about starting a conversation as you are. Being the one to break the ice makes the interaction easier for both of you.

Although this opening quote may sound straight from Reddit, its message holds up. It really is about the friends we make along the way. When you have downtime between rounds, you will want people to spend it with, and when a tournament ends, you will want someone to talk through your rounds with. The excitement of an award eventually fades, but the people you shared those experiences with remain part of your life. That is why pushing past the initial awkwardness is worthwhile. Every new person you talk to represents a chance at a friendship that lasts well beyond a single season, so make the effort to branch out and meet people. Years from now, those friendships are what you will remember most.