Speech and debate is often viewed through the lens of competition. Teams preparing meticulously, students delivering powerful arguments, and judges determining winners. Beneath the surface of rankings and trophies lies a deeper, often overlooked benefit — the opportunity to build lasting friendships. While the competitive nature of tournaments can make it seem like everyone should stick with their own team, the truth is that speech and debate offers a unique space to connect with people from all walks of life. Making friends in this environment not only enriches the experience, but it also fosters a stronger, more inclusive community. 

At most tournaments, it is common to see teams gathered in tight circles, talking only among themselves. This is not necessarily a sign of hostility; it is just the norm. Yet it raises an important question: why does it feel like people from other teams are off-limits? There is no reason to treat others as if they are a threat simply because they wear a different team shirt. The reality is, no one is going to bite. This unspoken rule of sticking to your own group creates a bubble that isolates competitors from the broader community. 

Ironically, speech and debate is built on communication. It is about expressing ideas, listening to others, and engaging in meaningful dialogue. However, many competitors miss the chance to communicate with the very people who share their passion. You might meet someone at a novice tournament and have a great conversation, only to be ignored by them at the next one. It is disheartening, to say the least. So if the practice is so devastating, then why do we treat opponents like enemies when they could be friends? 

In my state, the annual novice tournament is a highlight of the season. It is a space where new and experienced competitors try out events or jump into varsity debate. For me, the best part was not the rounds, but rather, it was meeting people from across the state. These were students I had never met before and probably would not have met if it wasn’t for speech and debate. That kind of exposure is rare in high school, where most social circles are limited to your school or neighborhood. These interactions opened my eyes to the diversity of experiences and perspectives that exist within the speech and debate world. 

Unfortunately, not everyone feels welcome at tournaments. I have heard from people on other teams that they often feel like outsiders, as if they are not wanted unless they are actively competing. That's a major problem. Speech and debate should be inclusive not just in terms of who gets to compete, but in how we treat each other. Just because someone is your opponent does not mean they are your enemy. We are all here for the same reason: to grow, to learn, and to challenge ourselves. 

It is easy to fall into the trap of viewing opponents as obstacles. However, that mindset can make tournaments feel cold and isolating. Instead, what if we saw each other as collaborators in a shared journey? What if we embraced the idea of frenemies, people who compete against each other but still respect and enjoy each other's company? This dynamic can make tournaments more fun, more engaging, and more human.

The concept of frenemies might sound strange, but it fits perfectly within speech and debate. You can admire someone's skill while still wanting to beat them in a round. You can joke around in the hallway and then go head-to-head in competition. It is not about pretending the competition does  not exist, it is about recognizing that it does not have to define your entire relationship. Some of the best friendships in speech and debate start with rivalry. You see someone perform a killer HI, and you are both impressed and inspired to improve. You watch someone deliver a powerful informative speech, and you want to learn from them. These moments of admiration can spark conversations, and those conversations can lead to friendships. 

Making friends in speech and debate is not just good for individuals, it is good for the entire community. When competitors talk to each other, share ideas, and support one another, tournaments become more vibrant and welcoming. Newcomers feel less intimidated, veterans stay engaged, and everyone benefits from the exchange of perspectives. It starts with small gestures, like saying hi to someone you recognize, complimenting a performance, or asking how their season is going. These moments might seem insignificant, but they can make a huge difference. They show that you care, that you are open, and that you see the person behind the performance. 

And if someone brushes you off, do not take it personally. Everyone has off days, and sometimes people are just nervous or distracted. Keep being friendly, keep reaching out, and eventually you will find your people, the ones who get you, who support you, and who make speech and debate feel like home. 

In conclusion, speech and debate is more than just competition. It is a community, a network, and a chance to connect with people who share your passion. Making friends in this world can transform your experience, turning stressful tournaments into exciting reunions and lonely weekends into unforgettable memories. So the next time you are at a tournament, do not just stick with your team. Look around, say hello, and start a conversation. You never know who you will meet or how they will change your journey. Because in the end, the best part of speech and debate is not the trophies. It is the people.